Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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