Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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And now a word from our sponsors

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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