What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Donald Trump

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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