Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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