What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

Knock Knock Who's there

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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