A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Charlie Sheen

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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