How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops