Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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haha

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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