When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

A man did not like this site

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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