What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown an sticky Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops