How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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