how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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