What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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A man died.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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XD Jackass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops