What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Refridgerator.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops