An Irishman walked out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is cowboy say

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

thumb_up thumb_down -35

2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops