What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Sex education in Texas,

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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