Knock knock... Home invasion

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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