What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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