How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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star wars kid

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops