Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops