What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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