When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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