(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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