Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

Double-whammy

Anti-jokes are funny.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

A boy with red hair is happy.

A muslim walks out of a plane.

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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