Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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you see theres this guy.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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