Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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