What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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