Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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