Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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