Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Connor is homosexuaI

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops