Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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I like the color potato.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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