A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

whats red and hard to eat a brick.

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

So these two girls have a cup .

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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