what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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