What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops