What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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there was once a jew

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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