What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops