An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Emily Walker.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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