A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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ugvvvvvv

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops