What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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