A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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