what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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