Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops