How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops