What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Women's Rights.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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