Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops