If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Haha, I get it..

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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