What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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