What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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