There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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A black man walks out of a police station

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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