"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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