I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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