What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops