A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Pickles

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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