Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops